Ending a Bad Relationship Trouble-Free!
Ending a bad relationship is something that we all need work with. Why? Because no one taught us how to do it in school! ;-) So what do we do?We watch T.V. shows and think that they have the answers (and in this case we're talking about how to end a relationship.)
You notice signs of a bad relationship. You start to lose interest. You want help with ending a relationship and you either ask people who really don't have a clue and who end up saying this like:
- "Just break up!"
- "Just don't answer their calls or messages!"<
- "Just stop talking to him/her and if they call too much, simply tell them it's over!
Sure, they're not the ones who will have to deal with your partner's (or ex-partner's now) reaction. Let's keep whatever reactions they give as normal and easy to deal with as possible.
Going Silent
Imagine you're in a relationship with someone you enjoy and all of sudden...it's radio silence! How do you feel? Does it hurt? You bet it does! And it's not so much because of the breakup, but more because of the sudden breakup!
Going silent is dangerous because your partner can show up at your place and demand an explanation! Worse, your partner can get violent and take the silent treatment very personally... In any case, ending a bad relationship by going silent is hazardous to your health! ;-)
Suddenly Breaking Up!
So instead of going silent, you choose to be honest about how you feel and what you want to do - You meet your partner and break up. It's a dangerous situation to put yourself in!
You see, what if your partner didn't even see the breakup coming? What if your partner felt that the breakup was unjust (not that it wasn't)? This can be especially true if no one saw the signs of a bad relationship in the first place!
Once you break up, your partner might react aggressively. He/She may feel that his/her ego is bruised or that their value as a sexual partner is threatened. If that's the case, they could react verbally or even violently.
End Things Slowly...
"So how do we break up? Before I share how to end a relationship in a way that I believe will work for you, I want to share something else first:
Breaking up is never easy! There is also no shame on wanting to break up. In fact, I find it harder to be the one ending a bad relationship than the other!
Having said that, I want to share with you how I end all my relationships in a way that has worked well for me. You want to end things slowly...
Instead of picking up the phone when you're partner calls, how about calling back the next day? Instead of spending the whole evening with your partner, how about just spending an hour or two?
In other words, slow down the momentum of the relationship and indirectly let your partner know that the relationship is over.
Whenever I've done this, two things happen: My partner tries to get the relationship back on track or we end up breaking up. Ending a bad relationship this way is worry-free because your partner can see the breakup coming.
Let Them Protect Their Emotions...
This is very important because it gives your partner time to mentally and emotionally prepare for what's to come. If anything they will secretly thank you for the way you've handled it.
So there you have it - When it comes to ending a bad relationship, giving your partner time to prepare, usually keeps things as safe as possible for you because you let your partner to protect his/her dignity and ego.
Granted this has worked best for me. If you have another way of breaking up that has worked better, please let us know! ;-)
