Seeing Signs Of A Controlling Relationship? Read This Before It's Too Late!
Are you seeing signs of a controlling relationship? He's not letting you go out with your friends?
Is she calling you every time you go out? Understand that everyone wants control and that these aren't necessarily signs of a bad relationship.
There are moments that make you 'stop' and wonder about what happened to whom you're with, and ask "why they want to own me so much?"
The fact of the matter is, he/she was like this since the beginning! They just hid their controlling tendencies well...or did they? How can you see the signs of a controlling relationship before you get too involved?
It's time to take action!
Step 1: Understand the truth about control,
Step 2: Look at the rapport between you and your partner.
Step 3: Listen to gut and friends and seriously start looking for the signs of a bad relationship.
Wanting Control in a Relationship - Good or Bad?
Control isn't bad. People who have some leverage in the relationship feel more comfortable with it. After all, we all want some amount of security to protect our emotions, right?
Everyone wants to have control in a relationship so don't worry about wanting some control in yours. In fact, seeing signs of a controlling relationship is good! It shows that your partner cares about the relationship.
It's all good. The issue is when your partner goes from dominating to domineering.
When your partner is disregarding any 'say' you have, or is constantly breaking the rapport you two have built, then you need to start worrying.
Rapport - The Measuring Stick You Can Depend on!
"What is rapport?" Rapport is that 'connection' you build with someone else in an interaction.
It binds you together and makes the interactions more comfortable and natural.
You notice it when you're walking at the same pace, are sipping a drink at the same time, etc...You guys are in rapport! ;-)
When you're with your partner, is he/she breaking rapport? Is he/she deliberately spoiling the moment to have his/her way? Is he/she winning the battles but losing the war so-to-speak?
If he/she is, and is doing it regularly then you need to pay attention to it especially if your partner makes you feel bad for expressing your opinions or feelings.
How to Tell if Your Partner is a Control Freak!
Does he/she jokingly say things like "do this again and it's over between us?" Or how about "It's my way, or the highway?"
One of the ways you can tell if you're in a relationship with a control freak is by listening to what your partner says.
You can find out more about by asking questions about their previous relationship(s). Asking...casually. ;-)
"What happened with your last Boy/Girlfriend?"
"How come it ended?"
Keep an ear on what your partner answers with and you'll pick up on signs of a controlling relationship.
Do you trust your friends? Now is a good time to ask them for their honest opinion about your relationship and they will give you the feedback you need because they can see the relationship from an outsider's perspective.
Note: If you or your friends think that you're in a critically abusive relationship now (physical abuse, etc...) go here now!
Trust Your Gut and Your Friends!
Again, just because your partner is displaying signs of a controlling relationship that doesn't mean that it's bad.
You have to check with yourself and see if the amount of control is okay for you, or if it's too much. How do you really...and I mean really know?
Check your gut feeling. It's the best indicator! Like for the Jedi in Star Wars, your gut (and NOT what you have between your legs! :P ) will tell you whether or not your relationship is in trouble.
You also want to trust your friends' opinions. Ask them about your partner and seriously consider their advice.
They can give you solid input on your situation that you currently cannot give yourself. I don't recommend trusting your thoughts because they can betray you. The same goes with how comfortable you feel.
So find out the signs of a controlling relationship based off of your partner's behavior and language, listen to your friends and trust your feelings. You will see the signs of a controlling relationship and do what's best for you and your partner.
